You're the th.
There are other(s)
Friday, November 21, 2003
--Day One Hundred and Eighty-One--
I haven't been feeling like myself lately. Things have just been getting so damn out of control I'm just like... blah. I want to be like I use to be...but I don't think that I can. Ever since Juunana-gou can into mai life he just ruined everything, now there's just not a day that goes bai that I'm not thinking about him. Now there's not enough hours in a day to hope to bump into him. And when I see him with someone else, mai heart aches....
*sighs*
I don't get it, I really don't. I saw him with her todaii...*sighs again* I can't believe it. She was there waiting for him down the stairs while he climbed up...God knows if he was coming back down to be with her or worse off...would she come up. *bangs head against wall* I don't kno why it bothers meeh so damn much. When I saw them I just damn...it felt like mai damn heart was being pulled out of mai throat slowly. I wanted to leap out of the bus and just stab that bitch to death right before his eyes...to show him that I was just so much better than her. Because gawd dammit, I am better than her. She can't compare to meeh, she just can't! I'm prettier, smarter, younger, kyooter, more mature, I'm so much more than she could ever be for him...why can't he see that shit!?
I can't open his eyes for him but damn I wish I could. He lied to meeh, he told meeh these very words
"Why someone else when I have you?"
And they were just lies. Because he could have meeh if he really wanted meeh. Yet, he chooses to be with that ugly ass, boarder hopping beaner eating bitch! Why on earth would he want to be with her?! Sure she's easy, sleaze, and cheep. She's got no class, she got no ass...it's just lyke damn are you really that stupid to want to be with someone so fucking ugly?!
*shakes head*
Hanging in? Oh yeah barely. I'm not going to do any stupid shit over Juunana-gou, he's not worth tht much. But I'm sure as hell fucking pissed out lyke whoa. I'm just lyke trying to calm down because he's not worth mai anger. He's not even worth mai tears....and I cried over him for the first time todaii...that's a bad sign. I never thought I would cry over him of all ppl. He's not worth it. He's ugly, he's a bastard, old, sick, perverted...and all those other bad things. I'm just trippin. I want him to hold meeh and no one else. That's the bottom line. But I guess that the first mistake here was not telling him that I wanted to be exclusive when we started fucking around the waii we were before. If I told him that I wanted to be his and no on else's then maiibe I wouldn't be in this problem now.
That bitch had him all to herself for a while, why can't I? I think...I think I just had a plan.... *smirks* That might be good... Of course I'm going to have to think things over a lot more before I make a move. It's something...serious. My pride is on the line here, but serious situations call for serious actions. I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this right....
Ok I'm going to go for now. This has been a long enough post and it's getting rather late. I think it counts for being Saturday now....so happi saturdaii for those who actually read this shit. I'm going to go now. BBL.
THIS is the real Hennessy
11/21/2003 11:45:00 PM
|