You're the th.
There are other(s)
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Mood:  | Playful
Music: Get Low bai Ying Yang Twins
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--Day Two Hundred and Fourty-Nine--
As mai mood indicates I'm a bit on the playful side ryte now. ^__^ I just got out of a pillow fyte. ^^;; Iono I'm just unusually cheerful at the moment. Let meeh tell ya how it happened.
I went to the library with Launch todaii because we got out early from skool since we had finals. Well when we decided to leave her brother came with us. Usually that's a bad thing and this time it was about to be until later. Anways, we went on the computers, chated a bit and then we got bored. Launch and I headed back to the back of the Library so what we could talk. Then after a while her brother left.
We were in the middle of our conversation when we started to get bored again. We then went outside and walked to her house, and when we got there no one was home. So we were going to play on the playstation when her brother came home. He raced meeh on the Playstation...of course I lost, and then we all got bored again.
Then out of no where everyone just picked up a pillow and it turned into a huge pillow fight. Lasted for a bit then mai mom called and ruined the moment. -___-; I had to leave. But it was fun. I'm going to tell mai mom that we're going to the library again tomorrow, and I'm going to go over to their house for a while. I'll just meet her in the library. ^^;;
Oh well, I guess that's all I had to say for the moment. I just wanted to get that off mai chest for now. I'll bbl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/28/2004 03:15:00 PM
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Mood:  | Alone
Music: Have you ever bai Brandy
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Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
--
--Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight--
Right now as I'm blogging I can't help but think of the saying "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Want to know what I have to saii to the mother fucker who thought that shit up!? FUCK OFF BITCH! They were probably smoking all kinds of something because what they said was lies. If I had the choice I think I would have rather never loved because then I would have never known what it's like. Then I wouldn't think about what I have lost and what I need back in my life. Then I wouldn't be scared. Then I'd be normal.
Life's funni most of the time. It has the sickest sense of humor I have ever had to see in mai whole life. When you think you have something it flips upside down so that you have to find it again and when you do it's snatched from you. I thought I had found the love of my life and that we were going to be together forever. Lies. I thought I could move on. More lies. And now I think that even after all that mai young heart has had to go through I'm in luv once more. Please, if anything's going to be a lie let it be this. I don't want to have to depend on anyone anymore. If you do, when they leave you, which they always do, you're not yourself anymore. You give yourself completely to this person, mind, body, soul, and then when they get up and deside that it's time to call it quits they take all of that with them. What does that leave you with? Abosolutely nothing. You're a shell of the person you once more, a walking zombie being driven only for the taste of revenge. Sick? Yeah. True, hell yeah. Believe meeh, I speak from knowing.
Love is something I don't wish on anyone. Not even mai worse enemy. Death is better. Because with love it does crazi things to you and you turn into someone else. You become this totally different person and in the end when you're alone you don't even know what you want anymore. You've bound yourself totally to that one person so closely that it's hard to tell what was he and what is left of you. And when you finally come to realize what's left of you now that he's gone, you come to see that there's nothing left at all.
Some after having loved even go to the point where they don't care who they love they just want to love someone and be loved. It doesn't even matter half of the time of the other person loves them back they just want to have the feeling there even if it means nothing at all. That's one of the things that love can do to you. Love can bring a god to his knees and make a devil cry. Love is the craziest shit I know. You think it lasts forever, and it doesn't. You think you found it? Guess again. No one, not even yourself, if going to know when you're in love. I guess that's the "beauty" or the "charm" of it. Whatever it is, it's something that no one can understand, not even you. Perhaps that's what makes love wonderful. The fact that you can't understand it at all. And no one ever will.
So I've ranted. I've said what I had to sai. Alll of this love talk scares meeh but that's how I feel. That's all I know sometimes. I pray to the god above me, plz let someone love me. I don't want to be alone no more, I just want to be in love. I want to find the man of my dreams. I want to be happy with life.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/17/2004 11:24:00 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Mood:  | Accomplished
Music: "Put It On Me" Bai DJ Quick and Dre
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--Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Six--
Waaaaz up fools!? How y'all kickin it? I'm hyped up, can't you tell?! Hahaha I bet you can. I can hear y'all thinkin to yourseleves, this bitch is crazi. Well let me just tell y'all I'm not crazi, I'm just hyper and happi. Why you ask? One reason really. Wanna kno? Launch and I made the Flag team!
::dances around lyke crazi wiff flags::
I'm soooooo happi. I was bouncing off walls and shit earlier. I was sooo bouncy I had to calm mai ass down long enough to sit down and start typing mai blog entry. So all of these hot showers, painkillers, and sleepless nights have paid off. Tomorrow Launch and I are going to get our classed flipped around so that we have Flags sixth period. For meeh that means loosing mai Spanish class, which ain't that big of a loss but ish something. I'm going to miss that class a bit but I'm willing to put almost anything on hold for flags. And that also means that I'm going to be out of mai dance class but that's oki too. I luved that class and Ms. Alexander was the bomb but what can ya do? Ish the waii the ball bounces, so to speak.
Tryouts aren't hella easy but they ain't hella hard neither. They's fun but you kno you gotta do work. But that's how everything is I guess. If you want it you gotta work for it. ^_^ And we wanted flags and we were willing to give up hours and hours to practice and getting sore to get in, and now we are. ^____^ I'm glad that all of this paid off in the end.
Well I think I'm going to end mai entry now. I gotta get going. I'll be back later!
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/15/2004 07:34:00 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Mood:  | Love Struck
Music: "When Will I See You Again" Bai Baby Face.
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--Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Two--
Look at that, I'm blogging two days in a row. I guess I wannt to blog the most I can before I go back to skool which is tomorrow. XD I hate skool. I hate the things that come from skool. I hate having to put up wiff teachers that I can't stands lyke Mr. Fucking-Leeka, and the usual swarm of haters lyke Lydia and her crew of freaks. Oh well, I can handle it. What wud High Skool be lyke if we all didn't have teachers we hated and ppl dat hated us? Ish just comes wiff da package. ::shrugs::
Ever feel lyke you're dying from the inside out? Yeah...I feel lyke dat now. I'm a bit stressed so ish normal for meeh to feel this waii when I am. I stayed up later than I usually do last nyte talking to Cheena and Chi-Chi. We talked about everything and anything. And then a while later Chi-Chi had to leave. But anyway, that's not the point. The point is that talking to Cheena opened mai eyes last nyte. I was writing another chapter to a story that I hadn't updated in months when we got on the romance topic. And getting onto that made meeh see some things. I thought that I was completely over someone. I thought that since it was almost a year since I last saw him that things were going to just vanish about him. Since I don't think about him da waii I use to, I think that's something else that played a factor in meeh thinking that he was a long since forgotten part of mai life. But I realize that old wounds close hard, and that if you pick at em even slightly they bleed once more. Meaning? Meaning that yeah I still hurt when I think about him. I hadn't had a moment to just sit down and think about how I really felt about him since a while ago so getting to reflect on the topic made meeh see that I may never forget him at all.
People saii dat your first luv ish da luv dat you neva forget and ish da 1 dat stays wiff ya foreva and eva. I'm starting to think that ish tru. Guess dat's just one of the thangs that you have to experience for yourself to actually believe. ::shrugs:: It doesn't boter meeh now but last nyte it did. I wanted to erase him from mai mind soooo bad. Lyke you gots no idea. But now I'm just going to accept it and try and live mai life. I've come to see dat the less time I have on mai hands to just sit back and think the less time I have to go on and start thinking of Him. So now I'm kinda thankful for all the shit that I have to do now. I kno dat fo' da months to come I'ma be hellva busy person. I can kiss thinking about mai broken luv life Ja'ne! Thank God.
Nothing else going on...that's about it. Just wanted to blog again. I'll try and blog again tomorrow, but iono. Tomorrow ish da first daii back to skool since winter vacation. God be wiff us all. I don't think I'm ready fo' dis one.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/11/2004 02:00:00 PM
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Mood:  | Salt Shaker-ie!
Music: "Salt Shaker" by Ying Yang Twins
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--Day Two Hundred and Thirty-One--
Todaii was an eventful daii. Andrew and Julian set out todaii for Vegas early in the morning...I miss them already. The house hasn't been this quiet since early in August last year when Julian wasn't living with us. I miss them being loud all up in the house. -____- I never thought I'd say this but I miss them wanting to get meeh off of da computer. XD Wow I really do miss them
Well onto lighter topics, I don't wanna dwell on dat, (I myte start cryin or something) I uploaded a whole new set of emotion dolls and put a few on this blog. I'm luving this layout and I don't think I'm going to change it any time soon. I myte get tired of the color blue but I'ma be a Sigma Psi for the rest of mai life! ^___^ So now I have 57 new emotions, and they're lookin FAB! The one I have now is inspired by the music video for "Salt Shaker" the chick in front of the fire truck but whatever. I lyked it so I had to have it. Besides that's lyke one of mai fave songs. I have a whole grip of other ones too. As the time goes by you funna get to see em all.
Iono how much I'ma be able to blog in the comin month. I gots flag tryouts, mai dance finaly, bio and world history projects coming up and damn that's a lotta shit. Not to mention mai piano and other shit I be doin on the side. I do hope to blog more, I'm getting back into mai blog every other day mode. I lyke that mode. I've blogged more this week then I had in any other week so that's a good sign. I just missed mai blog. ::hugs blog:: But I'm back, and I won't miss treat it no more!
Oki...I think that's it for todaii. I'll be back later. Maiibe I'll blog tomorrow! Who knows! Iight, I'm get going. Holla!
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/10/2004 08:16:00 PM
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
--Day Two Hundred and Twenty-Eight--
I'm bored, as I often times am when I decide to blog. Oh well, it beats the hell out of sitting here and just starting the screen, that's for sure.
Well as you obviously kno bai now I finished Chi-Chi's layout. >_< Took me long enough. It looks just like mai layout only it's in purple and it's got a different song and less pictures and stuff. It's nice tho, I lyke it. Just not as much as mine. Cuz I'm in luv wiff da BLUE!
Speaking of blue, I'm kinda blue. A lil on the down side. I don't feel overly cheerful, perhaps that's cuz every time I move I feel lyke shit. Mai abs, legs and arms ache. T_T Ouchie indeed.
Why does it feel like the world's on my shoulder?
::blinks::
I've had those lyrics stuck in my head forever! I seriously mean forever! So if anyone knos what song that's from TELL MEEH!! I just gotta kno who sings that and stuff.
I got mai sub profile working on mai aim sn again. ^__^ ::does lil dance:: Ish the old one but who cares. I got it lookin nice and I got rid of a few things and added a few things. I myke make it better later ^___^
Oki I think that's all I Have to saii for now. I was just blogging for the hell of it. Nothing of importance. Just bored as always. Oki gonna go. Holla.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/07/2004 12:49:00 PM
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