You're the th.
There are other(s)
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Mood:  | Alone
Music: Have you ever bai Brandy
--
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
--
--Day Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight--
Right now as I'm blogging I can't help but think of the saying "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Want to know what I have to saii to the mother fucker who thought that shit up!? FUCK OFF BITCH! They were probably smoking all kinds of something because what they said was lies. If I had the choice I think I would have rather never loved because then I would have never known what it's like. Then I wouldn't think about what I have lost and what I need back in my life. Then I wouldn't be scared. Then I'd be normal.
Life's funni most of the time. It has the sickest sense of humor I have ever had to see in mai whole life. When you think you have something it flips upside down so that you have to find it again and when you do it's snatched from you. I thought I had found the love of my life and that we were going to be together forever. Lies. I thought I could move on. More lies. And now I think that even after all that mai young heart has had to go through I'm in luv once more. Please, if anything's going to be a lie let it be this. I don't want to have to depend on anyone anymore. If you do, when they leave you, which they always do, you're not yourself anymore. You give yourself completely to this person, mind, body, soul, and then when they get up and deside that it's time to call it quits they take all of that with them. What does that leave you with? Abosolutely nothing. You're a shell of the person you once more, a walking zombie being driven only for the taste of revenge. Sick? Yeah. True, hell yeah. Believe meeh, I speak from knowing.
Love is something I don't wish on anyone. Not even mai worse enemy. Death is better. Because with love it does crazi things to you and you turn into someone else. You become this totally different person and in the end when you're alone you don't even know what you want anymore. You've bound yourself totally to that one person so closely that it's hard to tell what was he and what is left of you. And when you finally come to realize what's left of you now that he's gone, you come to see that there's nothing left at all.
Some after having loved even go to the point where they don't care who they love they just want to love someone and be loved. It doesn't even matter half of the time of the other person loves them back they just want to have the feeling there even if it means nothing at all. That's one of the things that love can do to you. Love can bring a god to his knees and make a devil cry. Love is the craziest shit I know. You think it lasts forever, and it doesn't. You think you found it? Guess again. No one, not even yourself, if going to know when you're in love. I guess that's the "beauty" or the "charm" of it. Whatever it is, it's something that no one can understand, not even you. Perhaps that's what makes love wonderful. The fact that you can't understand it at all. And no one ever will.
So I've ranted. I've said what I had to sai. Alll of this love talk scares meeh but that's how I feel. That's all I know sometimes. I pray to the god above me, plz let someone love me. I don't want to be alone no more, I just want to be in love. I want to find the man of my dreams. I want to be happy with life.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/17/2004 11:24:00 PM
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