You're the th.
There are other(s)
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Mood:  | Crazy In Luv
Music: Crazy In Love by Beyonce
Social: Cheena
--
Lookin' so crazy in luv
Your loves got meeh lookin so
Crazy in luv!
--Day Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine--
Wow, I haven't blogged in a lil over a week. Bad bad meeh. I usually keep this blog nice and fresh. I don't wanna turn into Julian, with his once every blue moon blogging. The reason I remembered I had to blog was when I was at the Library with Launch, she went on mai blog and I saw when the last time I blogged was. So you kno, I had to liven things up a bit when I got home.
Lemme keep y'all posted on what's happened so far:
Sat. The 24th I went and played at a church. I sounded good, so I hear. I'm glad that's over and done wiff. It was fun tho. Went up there and rocked the house ^^
Wed. The 28th I had mai final routine for flags. It didn't go as well as I thought or hoped but I kno mai essay was really good. ^_^ Happi about that.
And todaii, ^________^ Great daii. I'm even feeling kinda flirty, even tho the events that made it that are long since over.
I didn't go to Adult Skool todaii, I needed a break. Instead I ended up going to Launch's house with Chi. We went there, and when we got home, Juunana-kun was already there. He was being a dumb ass as always. He finally calmed down long enough to sit down and watch TV. But guess what he makes us watch!? He turned on the movie "Eight Legged Freaks" and anyone that knos meeh knos I have the BIGGEST phobia of spiders in the world. I was screaming for the good part of an hour. ^^;; But...I have to admit...It was fun. Juunana-kun kept forcing meeh to watch the scary parts, then I'd jump and scream, and he'd laugh. It was funni, skari, but funni
Then after their daddy came home we all left the house and went down to the library. Chi had to go home then, so it was only meeh, Launch and Juunana-kun. We got down to the library, Launch did what she had to do then we left around 4:50.
-__- Things are fine until I had to go home! I wanted Launch to walk meeh home but she didn't wanna so I'm lyke fine. Then she told Juunana-kun to do it i'm lyke o_O! Whatever. After lyke 10 minutes of arguing about who's going to walk meeh home, they say none of them is going to walk meeh home. I was lyke ::frowns:: So I started to walk maiself home. When I'm lyke two blocks away from Launch's house, I see Juunana-kun, and he says he's going to walk meeh home. He said he didn't want anything to happen to meeh and have it be his fault for not wanting to walk meeh home. So we walked for the most part in silence, there was a lil bit of conversation but nothing too important. You kno, the normal convos. for meeh and him. Something lyte and funni. He just walked next to meeh wiff his arm around mai shoulder trying to tickle meeh as we walked since I'm sooo freakin' tickle-ish.
When we got lyke within a block of mai house, he stopped in his tracks, and messed wiff meeh a while. You kno, playfully hitting and trying to tickle meeh. Well, I guess I missed where but somewhere along the lines of playing around, it got serious. We just stopped hitting each other and stood there. Iono how it happened, it was all a blur but next thing I'm really remembering is being pulled up against him and him kissing meeh as hard as he could. We did that for a while too. All I kno is we left the Library at 4:50, walked Launch home, and at the end I got home around 5:30. So I was out and about for a good 40 minutes.
Iono what's going to happen tomorrow. Frankly tho, I don't care. I jus' really don't care. I mean ish nice to be wiff him but I kno what he's doing to meeh. I kno he's running game, which brings the question, why did I allow him to kiss meeh. ::shrugs:: Honestly, dunno. Ish not lyke he was forcing himself upon meeh. Hell, I had mai arms around his neck and he had his arms around mai waist, meaning that we BOTH wanted this. I jus' dunno if this changes anything. I doubt it does, I kno what to expect this time. I'm not into it, I'm just knoin it was a stupid kiss and nothing more...well oki....maiibe a lot of stupid kisses, but either waii I ain't trippin. I kno what he’s lyke, I kno there’s nothing there. Jus’ the occational kisses are nice sometimes.
::sighs::
The only bad thing about this is all the people I lied to. I told Gar I was over Juunana-kun, I told Ju and Che the same. I thought it was true. I didn’t realize until I was lip-to-lip with Juunana-kun that it wasn’t that simple. I still have feelings for him. A hell of a lot of feelings. I wish things didn’t have to be this waii. The part of meeh that’s sane wishes that I would have jus’ walked maiself home. The other part, the hopeless romantic wishes that I’d’ve spent as much time wiff him as I could. I jus’ dunno what to think anymore.
I kno things wiff him won’t ever turn into something else. But...what bothers meeh is how I’m going to have to learn the hard waii. I’m going to have to find out maiself, Che says. Iono how, but she says that I will and ish gonna hurt. Sadly, I believe her. I wonder how it will be, how hard it will hurt, and how deep the cut will be.
::sighs again::
Things are complicated when I think of them, so I wish I didn’t think. I wish I could just act on how I feel and neva have to think about what’s going to happen next. If I did that then I wouldn’t have a problem. I wouldn’t have to worry about how I’m going to learn this lesson. I wouldn’t be scared of learning this lesson, and I wouldn’t be scared of it destroying meeh....
...But...since I will always think of what’s to come, and I don’t kno what to look for...I guess I’m jus’ sitting here...waiting for this lesson to destroy meeh....The only thing I wish now....is for it to come quick.... Kill meeh quick...and never look back.
THIS is the real Hennessy
4/29/2004 08:54:00 PM
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