You're the th.
There are other(s)
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Mood:  | HeartBroken
Music: My Immortal bai Evanesence
Social No one, not on AIM
-
Your face...it haunts...
My once pleasant dream...
Your voice it chased away...
...All the sanity in me.
--Day Three Hundred and Sixty-Five AKA One Year--
Wow...as you can see...ish been a year... ::sighs sadly:: A whole year. I didn’t think I would make it this long...honestly I didn’t think I was going to make it past the first week. When what happened a year ago happened (read archives and find out if you don’t kno) I thought I was really done for. I thought dat was it for meeh. He was a big part of mai life, I thought dat once things were ova wiff him dat he was going to take meeh wiff him. And the truth of da matter ish, he did take a part of meeh wiff him. And ish really really had to look back now and see how far I’ve come. On da one hand I’ve got how much I’ve changed and how mai life has moved forward, how I got ova this. But then on da other hand I’ve got how much I really still miss him, even after all dis time.
::sighs::
But here I am. A year later and I find maiself ryte where I was last year. Well...not ryte where I was but I’m in dat area. I’m in luv again, lyke I was back then. And I don’t kno how to deal wiff it, lyke back then. Only this time there’s an upside. The one I luv don’t kno and this time I don’t gotta deal wiff him breaking things up wiff meeh. Nah, I did have to deal wiff it but this time it happened earlier. I’ve all ready had to deal wiff things lyke dat, and all I gotta worry about now is getting ova dat person. I’ll be good after dat.
::shakes head::
Honestly, I really didn’t think that after what happened last year I could set maiself up again for another fall. But I did. And here I am. Iono how things are going to work out this time around tho.
::sighs again::
I just dunno anymore...dunno anything anymore. Todaii, while it myte have looked lyke a normal daii was something really big for meeh emotionally. I had a really had time thinking and concentrating todaii. The tests that I had to take todaii were horrible. I hate this whole CAT 6 testing. Gets on mai fucking nerves. I’m glad dat ish finally over.
But da daii really wasn’t too bad, you kno? Just had a lot of thinking. After skool I went to Robyn’s house and we started to bake a cake for Mr. Leath, (our history teacher) since his b-daii is tomorrow. Of course, Robert was there. ::shrugs:: Seeing him is still kinda hard. There are times that I just can’t take mai fucking eyes off of him. I don’t kno...I don’t kno why dat is but it just is. I kept staring at him all daii todaii, gosh...and iono how to quit.
::shakes head::
I’m not going to get into dat, cuz if I do I’m going to force maiself to think about him and dat’s something dat I don’t need ryte now. I got enough on mai mind, I don’t need to think about Robert anymore. I’ve got so much shit going on in mai head ryte now, mainly...surprisingly, having to do wiff Ernesto. Wow...I haven’t seen dat name written...er typed...in a long time. Its strange...really strange. I guess I miss him. A lot. I really miss him. I hadn’t realized that. I kinda wanna call him but I kno dat’s not going to end in anything well. Everytime we’d talked after we broke up nuffin good came of it. I think ish best dat I just leave it alone. I have to forget him. No matter how hard. I hadn’t thought about him too much since da break up, not until todaii. He was on mai mind for most of da daii. Ish been going between Ernesto to Robert, then back around. I was thinking about the both of them all daii todaii and I don’t think dat’s good. I’m trying to forget both of em but it’s damn near impossible.
::sighs sadly::
Well this post was kinda pointless. Just had to saii ish been a year and I’m around, surprisingly. I knew I had to blog todaii, even if there wasn’t much to saii. I had to. Ish been a year and I want to show that I’m still around. I made it. But sometimes I wonder, if I shouldn’t’ve just given up.
Iight, dat’s it for now. Maiibe I’ll be back tomorrow.
Holla atcha girl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
5/19/2004 08:20:00 PM
|