You're the th.
There are other(s)
Friday, June 04, 2004
Mood:  | Trying to Hold on
Music Rain on Meeh bai Ashanti
Social: No one, not on AIM
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--One year and Sixteen Days--
Well...here I am.... I've noticed that everone else has blogged about what happened...and I guess that ish about time that I do it too...
::sighs::
But what to saii? I don't kno what there is too saii. Much lyke mai lil sis I've done mai share of crying. Iono what to do about this iono what to saii. All that has to be said has been said....
I hope Estelle doesn't mind meeh taking one of her previous moods...that's just how I feel tho. I feel lyke I'm hardly holding on... ish all so hard...
Ish hard when the ppl you want to talk to just turn their backs on you. Ish hard to feel lyke you're alone in this. This is something I don't wanna be left alone wiff...I can't be left alone wiff mai thoughts ryte now. the more that happens the more and more worried I get.
::sighs again::
Last nyte I couldn't sleep. I went to bed ryte after dinner cuz I wsa just feeling so depressed. I was online wiff Estelle but when Ju got on I just left em alone and went to sleep. But here's the thing...I couldn't sleep! The minute I drifted off to sleep I got to thinking about how heavy things were. How at any given moment one of mai closest friends could be no more....
So I crawled out of bed around 1-ish and walked to Ju's room. I was in there till around 6 or something todaii....and I do mean 6 in the afternoon. I didn't feel lyke getting up. Even in the morning when I felt Ju leave I didn't wanna follow. I had tried to talk to him about things earlier that morning but he wasn't listening to meeh...I was better off talking to maiself. Dat's how it felt. He just looked at meeh, as if he could see thro meeh, then got up and left. It's lyke I never said anything at all....
::shakes head::
So here I am finally awake, ice cream in mai system, and alive. Not much to saii tho....everything that had to be said on dis subject has been said. The only thing I can saii now ish dat i hope dat Andrew will be oki...I really do hope so...
...Well...this post took meeh long enough to get out. I must have backspaced and restarted this post a million times. I wanted to at least make a lil sense. I started it about an hour ago, but I never got the words to sound ryte. I would repeat maiself or something lyke dat, I just wasn't making any sense at all and i doubt dat I am now. I'm talkin to Estelle now. She called meeh twice but...when I saw da phone I just ignored it. ::shakes head:: I couldn't speak to her, or anyone. I can't find mai voice. I kno where it is and I kno i cna use it but I don't wanna. I can't ryte now.
I think I'm going to end this post here. nuffin more to saii...
Oh before I go, thanks to Estelle for helping meeh out of this lil rump...thanks a lot...
...Holla atcha girl
THIS is the real Hennessy
6/04/2004 09:34:00 PM
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