You're the th.
There are other(s)
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Mood: Stuck Up
Music: Nothing
Social: Estelle, Via Cell Phone
--
--Day Ten--
Yeah just lyke mai mood says I'm feeling lyke a stuck up lil bitch. Why? Cuz that's just the waii that Robyn is acting. I kno that we're suppose to be best friends and whatever but if she starts giving meeh her stupid ol' attitude she's going to get nothing but mhate back from meeh. Yeah I love her and all lyke a sister but I don't play that stupid shit. I told her when we first met that I don't roll lyke dat and yet she's going to act lyke dis...so whatever. Let her act lyke dis all she wanna. Cuz I'm not going to walk on egg shells for no bitch. I'm not going to kiss no ones ass just cuz there's something going on that she doesn't lyke. Minding her business....mai ass! Iono what the fuck has her so fucking angry at meeh but I don't care anymore. Yeah I cared a lil bit earlier when I had to see her but I don't care anymore. She wants to be mad then fine let her be mad cuz I really dont' care anymore. I've lost friends, and yeah I'ma saii this, ish gonna hurt meeh to lose her as a friend but if this is how she wants it then this is how she's going to get it. I'm not going to talk to her unless she talks to meeh! DONE DEAL!
::sighs::
N-e-wayz, other than that, I'm not too bad in a mood. I'm oki. I was here (at da library) wiff Robert and Shay. I don't really count her tho because you kno what the heffa did? She goes off and she sits in da stupid lil corner wiff Robyn talkin about god knows what. So whatever, she wasn't really here wiff meeh. The only person I count being here wiff todaii is Robert. Yeah....he was kinda getting on mai nerves earlier as always but that's oki. At least I kno that if something goes wrong wiff him he wont' be a total prick about it and shut meeh out in a stupid child-like pout. ::shakes head:: I'm sorry that I can't blog wiffout bringing da issue wiff Robyn up she's just getting on mai nerves so fucking bad ryte now. I don't kno if she's still here or not, frankly I don't care. I don't even wanna hear her stupid ass. I tried to be nice to her earlier, ask her whats wrong and if there was something wrong wiff meeh then she could have told meeh then. But what does she do? Nothing, she just shuts meeh out lyke she's doing wiff everyone else except Shay. She can talk to her, hell those heffas can even LAUGH together. But NOOO! Let meeh try and talk to em and they get all fucking quiet. Well you kno what...FUCK THIS!
::groans::
I kno dat it seems lyke I'm not going to get over this any time soon but I relaly think that bai ranting I'm doing the ryte thing. I haven't typed this fast in years, I have ppl just staring at meeh in awe! I'm that fucking mad. I'm wondering maiself how on earth I'm making it this fast wiffout making a mistake. I'm not making many! I'm just typing away, taking mai anger out on the keys cuz I kno that's better than taking it out on someone or maiself.
Well, when I get home I kno now that I'm going to be in a world full of trouble. Why? Cuz I lost one of the most valuable things that Julian has ever given meeh. Yepp....the set of gold earings he gave to meeh for mai 15th birthdaii....::sighs:: gone. I lost one of em and I kno that he's going to notice when I don't wear them around the house or out to dinner and stuff lyke dat. I just can't believe that I lost them. I don't even kno how I lost them. I've been so mad todaii that they could have fallen off anywhere. Hell, I could have lost it at school before I even got mad. Or on the walk here (thanks for leaving meeh Robert!!) and even when I got here. I could have been too mad to remember. ::sighs:: Either waii I hope that I do find it...if not...oh lord oh lord....let Julian go blind....
Well, I think that's all I have to saii for now. I think I'm going to go walk around or get something to eat...Iono....i just realized that I'm here alone so I have nothing to do...as always. Whatever. I'll be around later. Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/28/2004 02:35:00 PM
Monday, July 26, 2004
Mood:  | I Love Mai Thug
Music: Sex Bai Ginuwine
Social: No one
--
--Day Eight--
I'm just as shocked as anyone else. I'm actually feeling good. How can dat be given mai past couple of daiis wiff mai mom? Well, I really don't kno but I think that I really just needed to get out of da house. Dat really did meeh good.
As usual I was late to first period todaii. -__- But then later Shazlenn wrote meeh a letter todaii, ^___^ I luv letters!! So I wrote her one back in art class. I made up for the work that I missed in both classes todaii and da daii was pretty much uneventful. Skewls just not too great when there's only 4 hours. There was more stuff going on after skewl.
So after skewl was out I went to da library wiff Robert, he was suppose to just stay for 30 minutes but he ended up staying wiff meeh da whole time. I kept telling him to leave tho we all kno dats not exactly what I wanted ^^;; We went on a computer, then we went out side, and back inside to get on a computer. We had fun, hanging out just the two of us. I lyked it. I think that's what I needed. I remember when we got out of school he called meeh and we were on the phone and we walked until we saw each other and we're both on the phone. ::smiles:: It was kinda funni. I just kept replaying that over in mai head earlier. Iono why. Then when we were walking to the library I got a text from mai dear friend Shaz telling meeh she's seeing meeh walking wiff him. ^^; Just bascially had a good daii.
The only bad thing about todaii is that I think that Robyn's mad at meeh. I haven't talked to her in a while, since wednesdaii last week. I called her todaii and she sounded really really mad. Telling meeh dat she's just minding her own business and stuff. I don't get it...but I'm having Robert look into it todaii. I hope Robyn's not mad. She's one of mai best friends, I don't want her to be mad. But if she is, I'm willing to talk to her to find out what's wrong. I'm not going to let her staii mad. I can't. I'll just talk to her and see what's up.
Well I think I'm going to get going now. I have to work on a couple of things on the sorority website. We got some more pledges going one since some of the girls we knew had to go. Oki I'm outta here. I'll bbl. Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/26/2004 07:42:00 PM
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Mood: Pretty Damn Oki
Music: Some old Metalica song
Social: No one yet...but da nyte ish young ^^;;
--
--Day Five--
Well I’m back and ooooooh what a horrible past couple of days. Shit has been going on dat I can’t even explain. Some of ish good, some of ish bad...but ish all in da past, kinda. Ova da past three daiis dat I haven’t blogged I’ve been talkin a lot more to Robert, lyke a couple of times a daii. I kno dat on thus. Nyte I talked to him for almost an hour and then since I didn’t get much sleep dat nyte I stayed home on Fridaii. So we talked on and off all of Fridaii, and then again todaii on and off. It was kinda hard for meeh to talk to him todaii cuz mai momma was around da whole tyme and she’s really doesn’t lyke meeh talkin to him. In fact, if I talk to him n-e-more on mai phone I’m going to get it taken away, well more than I already have cuz ish taken away from meeh now since mai phone bill is sooo high. Then if he calls da house phone mai mom’s going to yell at him she said so Iono what the fuck her damn problem is but it needs to stop! I can’t take her shit no more. Earlier at lunch todaii Robert called meeh and she reaches ova and snatches da phone from meeh and yells! Talkin bout "Why you callin mai daughter!" and shit lyke dat. ::shakes head::
But dats lyke da kinda oki part...as for da bad part...I’ve told him how I feel...yepp I’ve done da stupidest thing I could have done. I told him. I literally broke down on da phone and thro mai tears told him how I felt. Aint dat about a bitch? I swore dat would neva happen and yet it has....great huh? Actually...I kinda hate to admit dis but I do feel a lil bit better. Now he knos and I kno I said I was neva gonna tell him but...iono it feels kinda ryte dat he knos. We’ve been talkin a lot mo’ lately, we’ve got a couple of thangs on da DL between us so meeh tellin him wasn’t soooo bad, well it doesn’t seem too bad now. Back when I was tellin him it felt lyke hell.
N-e-waiiz, I wasn’t feeling dis good earlier in da week...nah. This is really good compared to how I was acting yesterdaii even. Yesterdaii I just cried and cried and cried for most of the daii. That’s just great isn’t it? Pfft yeah ryte. Oh well...whatever. UGH! Talkin to dat lil boiz got meeh usin dem words.... -__- "Whatever, oh well, yeah, ok, maiibe..." T_T Damn lazy answers.... N-E-WAIIZ! Back on mai topic, yesterdaii was not a good daii for meeh. I was going to blog about it but I couldn’t. I just aint had it in meeh. I aint even had nuff in meeh to heat up some decent food. I was just sooo not maiself. Now I am, I’m feelin better....much much better. Again tho I couldn’t’ve gotten dis waii wiffout mai friends who’re always helping meeh. They kno who they are and as always I wanna take em. Cuz I kno dat if I didn’t have em to talk to and to call and cry to, I wouldn’t be where I am todaii. Sometimes I just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to yell some sense into meeh. Thanks. Y’all have taken care of meeh when I’ve been down and if you guys are ever down I’m going to take care of y’all just lyke y’all helped meeh.
I kinda feel bas for everyone dats in dis lil situation. I hate being stuck in luv triangles, but we have no other waii around this. Tomorrow I’m going to find out what’s going down, see if our deal is on or off. I don’t care for it...if ish on then good if ish off then oh well.
::sighs::
The only thing dats bothering meeh ryte now ish mai mom. I don’t understand her. Iono why she’s making this big deal about meeh talkin to Robert. I’ve known him FOREVER and just because we started talkin now she freaks out and makes a big deal. How stupid can she be.
::sighs::
This gets worse everydaii...I just can’t take this anymore...I can’t...I don’t kno how much more of her I can take... Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/24/2004 10:15:00 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Mood:  | Holding on
Music: Weak Bai Jo Jo
Social: Brigette, Estelle and Kacea
--
--Day Two--
Surprisingly after mai post last nyte mai mood actually picked up some. I kno dat I wasn't jumping for joi, nah, far from it but I did get a lil better.
Lyke it said last nyte I was talking to Estelle, she always seems to help meeh when I'm feeling ultra down lyke I was last nyte. I haven't broken down lyke dat in a while and even tho when she helps meeh ish really...direct, ish what I needed. Other ppl around meeh aroo too chicken shit to tell it to meeh lyke it is. Or sometymes they're too direct. Either waii, I really wanna thank Estelle...she opened mai eyes last nyte. So thanks. Even tho your words hurt ish what I needed.
Another person I need to thaink is Brad. Boo, you spend almost over an hour listening to meeh when I knew you had other stuff to do. We've both been down da same road before, so I'm glad that I talked to you. We don't want to play fools to anyone anymore and after our conversation last nyte I believe we never will. Thank you Brad.
And...I don't really want to thank Julian, or I do want to think him but....I can't. Ju, your words hurt meeh the most out of anything that was said last nyte. Telling meeh that you told meeh so wasn't what I needed. What I needed last ntye was some advice, or comfort. What did you give meeh instead? Your typical arrogant aloofness about it. I don't need that! I never will or never did. What I did appriciate was you being there in silence. The mere knowlege of your presence was enough.
But enough of that. Todaii's a new daii and I should be talking about that. When I woek up this morning I had a new txt form Robert. We continued to talk about what we were saying last nyte. I'm not going to go into details but I do have one thing to saii. Robert is finally getting what he desevers. He finally got what was coming to him. At first I was happi...well not happi but pleased to see he was getting his. After all that he did to meeh he more than deserves this. But now I feel kinda bad for him. Well....maiibe I'm not too sure... I mean I want to help him, cuz I care about him as both a friend and a lil bit more. But when I think about it I prolly shouldn't care. Not after everything. I should just let this eat at meeh the waii all of his wrong doings have eatten at meeh in da past. Then again, theres a small part of meeh that thinks this won't last long. Maiibe in a couple of daiis he's giong to have a new girl to go after....lyke always. He's never seemed to have a hard time getting girls so this time shouldn't be any different...even tho he's sounded very serious... He should be oki. But if he can't pick himself up then maiibe I'll consider talking to him and helping him get over this. I'm still ver much hurt over what happened yesterdaii and I think ish going to be a while before I can be alone wiff him. Sure I'll talk to him but that doesn't mean I'm happi wiff him. Just lookin at him makes meeh sad....
I should stop living in da past..I'm going to just end this post here....iight I'm out. Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/21/2004 08:06:00 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Mood: Depressed
Music: I hate everything about you bai Three Days Grace
Social: Shalycia and Estelle
--One Year and Sixty-Three Days since Divoced....--
(Finally time to change the countdown....)
--Day One--
Yepp...deeeepressed. Isn't that nice? I guess it's been too long since I broke down. Just as life would have it I can't go too long wiffout busting out in tears. Guess I was long over due.
Todaii was iight for the beginning part. I made one of the sorority shirts in grafic arts class todaii finally...but none of that matters to meeh ryte now. Nuffin matters. I went to the library wiff Robyn, Shazlenn and Robert todaii but that doesn't matter either...Nuffin at all...
I saw some things that I wasn't suppose to see...now I see why I wasn't suppose to see em. I won't saii wut I saw cuz this blog could fall into the wrong hands but I saw...I wish I hadn't...I just sat there for a moment wishing I hadn't seen a thing and wishing that I woudln't break down in tears ryte then and there. Lucky for meeh this once I didn't break down there. But when I got home that's when hell broke loose.
I went to piano lessons iono how, I just played. I don't remember playing but I just did. When I got home I talked to Julian for a little bit, then just lay in bed for a while with black tears streaming down mai face. I just got up a couple of minutes ago and I just can't feel lyke maiself. I just can't.
The talk that I had wiff Ju didn't help any. He just kept telling meeh he told meeh so, he told meeh this was going to happen. I wanted to reach over and smack him. He doesn't understand how broken I am about this, he never will.
Everyone's just telling meeh to get over it, to move on but I can't. I can't when I'm in so fucking deep. It's not that easy anymore. Iono if it ever was that easy. ::sighs:: Sure I got over something lyke this once but I can't do it again. The last time I had to get over something lyke this I nearly died, I felt a part of meeh slipping away. And what I have left now is all I have. So if I had to get over this, I think I would die. Just die. The first time I almost died, this time I kno I'm just going to die.....
So this is another change in mai life. I'm going to try to break away. I'm going to try to end this once and for all. So here it is, the countdown has changed and this is daii one, day one of meeh trying to break free from him. Todaii just made meeh realize he's never going to luv meeh...ever. It's never going to work...he's never going to see how much I care about him. I can only hope that I make it outta this one alive. Here goes...daii one. I'm not tryin to be a toy anymore. I'm not trying to be someone's joke. I'm meeh, love meeh or leave meeh. Interestingly enough....they all seem to be leaving ryte? Yepp....all of em. Men are no different...they're all dogs I don't care what you say. Every man is a dog!
::sighs::
I can't keep this entry going. I have to go...I gotta breathe. I gotta do something....if I live to tell it....I'll holla bk. So holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/20/2004 08:18:00 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Mood: Bummed, but oki
Music: Broken Bai Seether feat. Ami Lee
Social: No one
--
--One Year and Sixty Days--
Ryte now I'm at Brig's house and I'm going to go to the movies in about an hour so. It was suppose to be meeh, Robyn and Robert going to go see "9/11" But now ish just meeh and her going to go see either "White Chicks" or "9/11". Personally I don't wanna see that movie wiffout Robert, iono why, it kinda felt more lyke something he'd want to do. But if Robyn wants to still see that movie dats fine, I wanna go see it regardless of who ish wiff. I can't saii that I'm happi ryte now, cuz really I'm not too happi. Yeah, I am glad that I'm going to get to go the movies, espcially since I almost didn't go but I want Robert to be there. This was suppose to be a day for the three of us to just hang out, but I guess plans changed. Maiibe next month or something. Hopefully the three of us can do something before summer skewl ish ova and I leave for Vegas. Speaking of dat...I hope we're still going.
N-e-wayz, Brig did mai makeup for going to da bridge. ^_^ I think that it looks great. She's so talented when it comes to doing make up, i envy her for her talents. Sure I kno how to put on some make up and look good but she knows how to put it on a person and make em look hella sexy. We also straightened mai hair so ish looking better and I parted it off to da side rather than just down da middle. I think I look really nice todaii. Even tho mai reason for lookin this nice has changed, I still get to look good. ^^
Well, otha than that, nuffin much has happened since I last blogged. Skewl wise, I'm going to be printin mai t-shirts this comin' week. In INTRO class we're going to start drawing real people. Dats something dat I was neva really good at so I'ma actually be learning something. I look forward to it. I've actually drawn some good pictures, mai type of course, in da past few days so hopefully I'll be able to upload em soon.
Iight, I don't have much else to saii I'm outta here. Holla atcha gurl
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/17/2004 02:54:00 PM
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Mood: Content
Social: Robyn and Robert
Music: Everything I've known Bai Korn
--
--One year and Fifty-Seven Days--
Haven't posted in four days...oh well ::shrugs::
Anyway, todaii was the sixth daii of summer school. So far ish been iight. Nuffin heavy, work wise. We're going to start making t-shirts in grafic arts class this week, and the in intro to art we're just working on the wine glasse/bottles etc.
Ryte now I'm at the library wiff Robyn and her brother. Nuffin better to do. I guess that none of us want to go home this early in the daii. I think that we're all use to being out around 4 too much that's why we can't just sit still in our own homes. But going to the library isn't too bad, usually. Except for todaii there was this crazi ass white guy that was getting on our nerves. He was soo annying that meeh, Roby, and Robert were going to cuss him out but I guess we all decided against that. Either waii the guy is gone so I don't care.
One thing I'm looking forward to this week is dat in Sat. we're going to go to the movies to watch the movie "9/11". I heard dat it was going to have a lot of killin in it or whatever but I don't mind. I'll just shut mai eyes and squirm ^^;;; I just wanna get out the house, so after I go to Brig's house and she makes meeh all prettified, I'll go over to the brige.
Oh lord...I just stared at a guy and he stared back. -_-; ::is embarrassed:: T_T I have to be more careful....
Well I think I'm going to end this post here. I'll be back later, maiibe even tomorrow since I'm going to be here wiff Robyn again. Who knows. ::shrugs:: Well until then, much luv, b e z yall. Holla atcha gurl
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/14/2004 01:07:00 PM
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Mood: Slightly Irritated
Music: On the day down Bai Ryan Cabrera
Social: Estelle
--
--One Year and Fifty-Three Days--
Well lyke mai mood says I've been slightly irriated cuz stupid ass photopeg shut down. Or at least I think it did. Since it did I had to remake a new layout this monring, something I had been meaning to do all week. I just really haven't had the time on mai hands since I've been busy wiff summer school. But finally todaii I got sick and tired of seeing that fucked up layout. Now ish changed, thank god. This isn't mai best work but ish something decent and clean. It will just have to do for the time being.
Other than that things have been iight. Summer skool's really not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Ish cool. I have some iight classes, not the best in the world but they do get meeh out of the house and that's what I've been aimin for since I can't seem to do anything good around here. Wed. was our first daii so that was cool and then Thurs. Robyn and meeh went down to get some things for our art class. After that Robert joined us and we all went to the library. Just mai luck, I was sitting ryte next to him for a whole hour...not that bad but it was iight. We didn't wanna talk to each other outloud so we were just chatting on AIM for a bit. Sad I kno, since we were sitting ryte next to each other but hey... ::shrugs:: i guess we were too lazy to open our mouths. Later, around 2:30 Robyn, Robert and meeh went home. Robyn decided not to walk meeh home so Robert did. ::shrugs::
And then nothing happened on Fridaii, just casual working. What I'm really looking forward to in G.A Class is silk screening. Then I kno I'm going to be workin mai ass off makin some tyte ass T-shirts. ^__^ I got too much time on mai hands -_-;;
Speaking of having all the time on mai hands, I've been woking on mai story a bit lately. Ish comin' along great I think and I can't wait to hit 100 pages. I kno when I do I'm going to be lyke da happiest person alive. Seriously. Iono why I just think that's a big thing. I've been working on that story for almost a year now, it will be a year in December. I can't hardly believe ish been a year since I decided to start the story...so many things have changed since the beginning but I still luv it. Ish comin out better than I hoped and I can only hope to get published somedaii.
Well, I don't have much else to talk about. I guess I'm just going to end this post here. I've rambled on long enough. I'm out. Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/10/2004 09:51:00 PM
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Mood:  | Patriotic
Music: Got It Twisted Bai Mob Deep
Social: Estelle and Kacea
--
--One Year and Forty-Seven Days--
Happy 4th Of July!
^__^ Iono why, but I'm really really hyper ryte now. Tho I'm getting some really deep info shot into meeh ryte now I'm actually kinda hyper. Part of meeh, da part dat's talkin and getting da info isn't hyper at all. If anything dat part of meeh is shocked into silence. Wow...can you imagine it...meeh...silent... Didn't think it was possible did you?
Anyway, as everone knos, todaii is da Fourth of July. Ryte now Ju and Drew are out at their lil party that they were going to have at the beach, and later, when they come back we're all going to go out and just hang. Watch da fireworks. I kno dat Brigette was going to go to the park and watch em wiff Ashely and a few other family members. Seems everyone has plans to do something, and dat's good. It looks lyke families are going to get together for once and just relax. Dats always a good thing, especially around here. I don't see much of mai aunt and uncle even tho they live sooo freakin' close to us ish skari. I should see more of them more often but I don't lyke to go outside. Iono why. I guess ish cuz I'm tan enough and I don't lyke da sun ^^;; I was a vampire in another life. ::hisses::
Since mai last post nuffin much has been going on. I start summer school this commin wednessdaii. Um...I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but then again I'm not exactly hating it to death. Da good thing is dat I get to get out of the house and see mai friends again. Da bad thing is actually waking up before 12 and getting dressed and going to skool. Dat I kno I could go without. Oh well, ish only till Aug. 17 then I'm off to Vegas ^__^ Hell fuckin yea!!
Todaii's kinda hot, I wanna go outside for once. Beach sounds lyke da place to be ryte now. I really wouldn't be surprised if everyone and their momma's are over there. Ish nice out todaii. I myte even peek outside before everyone gets home.
Um, there's really not much else to saii. I got da July Icon for mai blog up yesterdaii even tho I didn't have a chance to post. Also I got music up ^_^ I'm going to change it next week but for now I want da new Nelly song up. I lyke it, ish iight even tho it does sound lyke da man has a lil bird fetish. First, Shake your tailfeathers and now Flap your wings?! What is wiff him. In da song, if you listen, you can even hear him talkin bout "Get your eagle on girl" WTF!? Someone really needs to lay off 'em birds. ^^;;
Oki, I think I'ma get going now. Just wanted to do a lil post ryte quick before I forgot all together. Iight, I'm outta here. B-e-z and all dat good stuff. Holla atcha gurl.
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/04/2004 02:55:00 PM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Mood:  | Maiself
Music: Whatever I want bai Usher
Social: Andrew, Estelle, Brigette, Kacea
--
--One Year and Fourty-Four Days--
^_^ I just got off da phone wiff Adri!! Finally I got a hold of her! Ish been a long time since I talked to her, so it was really great to get to talk to her and catch up on old times. I'm going to bai another phone card sometime this week so that I can call her later. ^_^ I've missed her!! Note To Adri: I MISS YOU!!!
Well ^^;; aside from that I haven't been doing much else. I wrote a bit in mai story, that's about it tho. Ryte now I'm trying to deal wiff Andrew and talk to ppl online, and blog at the same time. Ish kinda hard to do that. But I'm trying and at least I'm not that bored anymore.
Later this summer, I get to go to vegas!! Since I'll be out of summer skool in lyke mid-aug that's going to be mai vacation. ^________^ YAYNESS!!
Oki I think I'm going to cut this post here. I kno ish really short but not much else is going on. Andrew's been quiet for a lil too long, so dats not a good thing. I think I'm going to go check on him after I finish up this post. If he's quiet, that can't be a good sign ^^;; Sooo I'm outta here. B-e-z and all dat good stuff. Holla atcha gurl!
THIS is the real Hennessy
7/01/2004 05:49:00 PM
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