You're the th.
There are other(s)
Friday, January 21, 2005
Mood:  | Betrayed
Music: None
Social: No one
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I don't kno why I even started this post. I don't post for a while and then when I start to ish lyke I can't stop. Seems I really do need this blog for venting. Seems lyke other than SHAY and mai other sorors I really don't have anyone else to talk to. No one to confide in. It's sad really...I use to have it all. People there for meeh but now...look at this shit. I feel lyke I have nothing...and no one at all...
i don't know what to saii anymore. I started this and now I can't even continue. Now its me who's choking on her tears and can't even finish typing. Its been hard to do sitting here typing with one hand and holding a pack of ice wiff the other. Mai face feels lyke ish put together wrong and since yesterdaii it hasn't gotten any better. Mai mom asked meeh what happen...god I didn't kno what to tell her so I told her that I had been play fyting wiff a friend and they hit meeh...I don't think she really bought it but she didn't pester meeh about it. She was too busy talkin on the phone anyway. And for once, it felt good to be ignored. Lately I've been gettin a lot of it but this time it feels good. If the swelling doesn't go down I really don't want to go to skewl...I don't want to attaract attention. I think that all of this being ignore has gotten to meeh and now I'm use to it. Besides, I won't be able to lie to mai friends. They're going to see ryte thru meeh and when I told them who hit meeh......
Mai God...I haven't even told anyone about it...And I think I just myte be able to pull it off...the waii I've learned to do make up I could make a drag queen look lyke a total lady...I don't kno if I should be proud of myself or what. All I have to do is pull out my fake smile, some expensive clothes, and no one will kno anything at all...the waii I lyke it.
this is takin much longer than I thought it would. I thought I could just come on and blog a little but it's taking waii longer. I've been at this for an hour already. A whole hour...I kno, doesn't seem lyke it. I've backspaced so many things its not even funny. Even here I feel lyke I can't be open wiff mai upmost fears...I guess I'll never be able to.
I should go. There's no point to this post. I have to change towels anyway. I'll cut it here. Maiibe I'll be back later. Maiibe not. But what's it matter anyway, no one reads this. I'd have to have friends for that.
Holla.
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/21/2005 04:10:00 PM
Mood:  | Reaching out
Music: Nothing
Social: In second period, Cant get on AIM but talkin to Francesca
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AHHH!
Oki wow I just needed to scream. There has been a lotta bullcrap goin on since last nyte and Iono what to think anymore.
At first I was really upset wiff what happened. I got a fone call from ANDREW and he obviously had something going wrong wiff him because the waii he was talkin to meeh was dead crazi. Iono who he thought he was talkin to but it sure in hell wasn't meeh. Whatever tho I'm lyke over that ryte now, kinda. I'm not even thinkin bout it. I'm mad at him cuz he never had a reason to yell at meeh lyke dat. He shouldn't have come at meeh lyke dat even if he thought I was wrong.
Iono....I feel kinda different todaii. Ish not reallie depressed but then again ish not reallie "OMG I'M SO HAPPI!!" no, ish not dat. Ish a far far cry from dat. But at da same time I'm not all suicidal. So Iono what I reallie feel. I guess I'm kinda in da middle.
After mai post last nyte, I went around, stayed off AIM since ish better if I do cuz there's no one that wants to talk to meeh. I feel lyke every time I go on there ppl talk to meeh but it kinda feels lyke they reallie aren't talkin to meeh. Iono ish weird to explain. Ish lyke they don't wanna talk to meeh but they're doin so outta pity and if that's the case I don't wanna talk to em either. I don't wanna be someone's lil charity case. I guess I'll just retire somewhere, curl up and take a break. Ish lyke no body cares about what happens to meeh anywaii...I'm no ones family...I'm no ones friend...so what's it matter....??
I guess I'm going to cut this here. Iono how much time I have left in this class but I just wanna go somewhere. Not that anyone reads this or cares. Maiibe I'll just sleep and never wake up. That'd be nice. No one would miss meeh. No one would care...no one does care. I'm just a fuck up in everyones eyes. A bitch...a whore...a slut and a fuck up.
....Holla atcha gurl
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/21/2005 09:43:00 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Mood:  | Fuck Haters
Music: "Drop It Like Its Hot" - Remix
Social: No one
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You kno what I can't stand? Haters. Yeah. Haters, fakers and liars. Oh and before I forget, I hate college boys. I thought they would be different you kno, a lil more mature. Even if some of em got reps. for being notorious party boys and stuff lyke dat. But I thought dat this one was going to be different. Yeah I kno that he had a rep to live up to but he didnt, he was different then em. He was caring, and there for meeh at times. But sadly he had a lil bit of a fault, he was blind. And when I tried to help him see the light, he goes stupid. I guess along wiff being stoners, drunks, man whores and idiots, college boys are blind. Yeah, leave it to one of em to fuck it up for the rest of em. I guess I was stupid to try and help someone who doesn't want help. But dats oki tho. Seriously. If he wanna waste his time on something that will never happen then thats him. I'm tired of tryin to help ppl if all they're going to do is act lyke bitches because I'm tellin the truth. It's kinda sad really. There's a commanment for luv that reads: "Thou shall luv whats possible" sadly for this "boy" (yea he's not a man in mai eyes no matter how old he is) he won't listen to meeh.
If you had the chance to leave behind someone that's pointless and gain something that could mean a world of a differece for not only you, but for someone else, wouldn't you do it? What if that something had the power to make ppl happi? To let ppl move on with their lives? Would you want to help or would you want to be stupid, selfish and moronic and staii wiff something that not only hurts ppl but yourself? Would you rather be stubborn wiff a lil chance, I'm talkin 1 in a million chance of willin, and hurting others on the waii or would you accept life, move on, and let everyone else do so too? I'd think ppl wiff half a brain would choose to move on. Hell I know I would. But sadly that's not always da case wiff all ppl. I don't care what others say, being old does NOT always make you more mature. Sure, it should but that doesn't mean that it always does. I guess once in a while God makes a mistake. Unfortuantly I kno that mistake. Ooh, what I wouldn't give not to. Would make mai life soo much better.
Anywaiiz, enough talk of mistakes. I have as life to live, other things that go on. I should be working but I just wanted to post a new post for mai new layout. I did one here and one one maispace too. And later I'm going to get to work on a layout for SHAY'S new blog. We had to get her a new one because her old one died. Iono what happened to it but yea we had to start all over.
Tomorrow I'm suppose to go out wiff mai sorors, get some stress off our backs. Lately that's all I seem to have. Stress. And here's the funni part of it all. It's not all mine. It's caused bai other ppl, and things that other ppl do. Yeah, talkin about what I was talkin about above. Guess that's all I keep thinkin of cuz that's all I can. He's so fuckin stupid it's ANNOYIN! That's how stupid it is. God, I wonder how much rejection it takes for someone to get it thru their head that its not going to happen? Oh well, the longer it takes, the funnier the show. And I don't even have to paii for it.
So whatever, I'll end this here. Get on wiff mai life, and fuck haters. I dont care what yall think. Go suck a dick.
Luv ya all
-Hennessy
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/20/2005 05:59:00 PM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Mood:  | At Skewl
Music: None
Social: No one online, at skewl in da library wiff Miyana, Fran, And Anastasia
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Todaii I happen to be in da library, as it saiis in mai social, cuz I didnt wanna go to fifth period. Yeah I kno I shouldn't be doing this because I just got back in after being gone for a whole month but wtf, Idc. Ahh look at that BRAD'S waii of writing is rubbin off on meeh...crazi...
Anyway, yesterdaii was sooo not a good daii. I finally got up the nerves to ask this boi I lyked MAURICIO out and you kno what? Yea dats ryte he said that "he wasn't lookin for someone ryte now". I can't believe that shit. All mai friends think he's consided. We were passing a note back and forth in sixth period and I started asking him some "hypathetical" (sp?) questions and then I just came out and told him that I lyked him. After that i asked him out since he had broken up wiff his former girlfriend SAVANNA and I thought maii he was lookin to move on. I guess I was wrong. I was a lil upset...oki no scratch that. I was reallie upset. So upset, that I went to the bathroom, called SHAY, told her I needed to talk, and when she got there I just ended up cryin mai eyes out for a good 20 minutes. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I ended up throwin up too.
I don't kno why it all bothered meeh so much, I went into it thinkin that if he said yes that would be cool and if he said no then that would be oki too. But I guess I was wrong about that too. Looks lyke I'm wrong about a lot of things....
So yea whatever, that happened, and I went home. I wasn't feeling so good so before that I went to mai soror's house, ROBYN. I needed some pick meeh up. I wasn't in the mood to be alone.
Then when I got home I just kept busy. I even finally got a "Myspace.com" account, JASMINE had been tellin meeh to do so for the longest. I'll post the link up later, since I'm at skewl I can't ryte now I can't. stupid skewl computer...it wont lemme check mai mail and stuff lyke dat so when I get a chance I'll post up the link and all that. I'm going to make that blog public...I posted abotu what happened yesterdaii there too but I didn't use names and all. I just said something happened but I didn't put ppls names on there. I didn't have the balls to do it. Call meeh a chicken if you want but I just didn't have the balls to do so since I kno that MAURICIOU was going to see it. not only him tho, him and everyone else at our skewl.
So yeah, I guess I'm going end this shit here. I can't keep goin on and shit. I'm lyke going to cut it here and get back to whatever I was doin before this.
Iight, I guess I'm out. Leave meeh some luv. Until later. Hollatcha gurl!!
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/13/2005 02:19:00 PM
Monday, January 10, 2005
Mood:  Sigma girl for lyfe
Social: Kacea and Robyn
Music: Nothing
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Ahhh I know that I haven't blogged in the longest time but I haven't had time. I started skewl todaii, unlike KACEA and BRIGETTE and PAUL who have been in skewl now for a week. Ryte now I'm at the library wiff mai dear soror ROBYN even if she is on the other side of the room. We're both on AIM ryte now tho so that waii we can talk wiffout having to talk.
Well, for the first daii back it wasn't so bad. Things were good, I had to turn in some stuff and I didn't have to go to mai first period todaii. I got there too late so I just didn't go. That was a blessing in itself. I hate MR. GARCIA wiff a passion. Yall just don't even know....so anyway things went good.
It's been raining so hard todaii it's not even funni. I can't believe how much rain we're getting. And you kno what that means, no internet again tonyte. I hate it. Our house sucks and if I kno JULIAN which I do he's going to be bitching about not getting to talk to ESTELLE and he's going to tell meeh to call her but I can't because her phone isn't working. Soooo I'm going to have to put up wiff one pouty boi. I can't stand it when he gets all...child lyke so whatever. I hope that the internet it is working...more for his sake. Mines too cuz i don't wanna hear him!
Well mai mom's here and I have to hurry this up. After this we're going to go to the hospital and see BRAD since DREW isn't allowed to be there anymore. He already missed lyke a couple days of his repledging so I kno the other bros are waiting to rip into him again. Poor lil white boy. I kno he's going to come outta this experience all fucked up. -_- Poor babi. Hahaha. But that's what he gets for wanting to go back into the frat. He more than anyone should kno that BRAD'S not nice when it comes to pledgin, let alone the second time around. Speaking of pledging...we gotta start messin wiff our girls.
So yeah, I'm outta here. I'll try and be back sooner but it's hard to do since mai 'net isn't working sooo much at home and when it is stupid JULIAN is online but whatever. I'm outta here. ^^;; already said that. Yeah, can't you so tell I'm rushing this?? Yeah. OKI!!! Gotta jet. Holla atcha gurl!!
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/10/2005 04:19:00 PM
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Mood: 
Music: Only U bai Ashanti
Social: Kacea
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Wow, I kno I'm a lil late wiff mai New Year Post but I've decided now's a good a time as any. I don't think that I have any resolutions, I think I'm just goin to try to do something new every daii and be a nicer person, maiibe stop wiff da gosiping (yea ryte). Iono, I reallie don't have anything to change about maiself. I kno ish soundin kinda consided but I had a good year and if I had one last year I think I'll try to stay the same for this year. ^^;;
Anyway, BRAD wants meeh to help him make a layout for a blog, he's finally going to get one. About time huh? Live journal isn't bad but you just can't pimp it! Lol. Soooo I'm glad he's going to get a blog. I have to work on his now and DREW'S too. -_-; Joy. I better get paid.
So yeah, nothing going on ryte now. Talkin to KACEA but that's about it. I was trying to draw earlier this morning but I can't. -_- Oh well. Whatever I think I'm going to try do it again later. I've been meaning to draw something for a while now. I wanted to write again too but I haven't been able to. Maiibe later.
Oki, I should go get to work on those layouts. I'll be back later. And speakin of new layouts, don't you lyke mines?? ^___^ Leave meeh some luvies. Iight I'm outta here. Bai bai. Holla atcha gurl!
THIS is the real Hennessy
1/02/2005 05:17:00 PM
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